Asexuality's Comparative Advantage
I’m terribly envious of not only Scott Alexander’s writing acumen, but also his prodigious output. And I can’t help but think his asexuality contributes a great deal to the latter, just by virtue of looking at my own life.
Back when I was single, I spent an inordinate amount of time pursuing women. I went on Tinder, Okcupid, etc during pretty much every sliver of free time I could find. I used to have a 3 hour round-trip bus commute and I usually spent the entire time swiping through instead of reading the book I brought. Even something as primordial as pooping took longer because I'd be swiping on the toilet seat. Outside of the online world in real life, I made sure to stack my calendar with as many events as I could possibly cram. I was devoted to going to any art gallery opening, house party, music show, poetry reading, etc. no matter how mediocre it sounded with the sole goal of potentially meeting women.
Not to mention that once you find someone (which takes a fuckton of time already), actually meeting them is also time-consuming. Going on a date for drinks usually meant at least an hour (if it sucks) but typically two hours, and sometimes much longer (if it's going really well). There were many instances where a half dozen dates with the same person would fizzle out into nothingness. Then you're back to the pile.
I made a spreadsheet once because I was curious at the metrics and ended up counting first dates with 120 different people over a period of 5 years. That's potentially at least 250 hours, plus follow-up dates, plus searching time, plus travel time, etc. When I wasn't pursuing women, I'd try to zone out and pass the time by binging on video games. Reading usually had me too distracted if I was feeling sexually frustrated.
I'm in a monogamous relationship now so I'm done with dating, but holy shit even those take up a lot of time, especially when you live together. We're constantly making plans, accompanying each other on errands, meeting each other's friends and family, talking to each other, etc. The people that truly mystify me are the poly folks who manage to combine both being in a relationship and looking for one simultaneously.
Standing where I am, I don't think I'd willingly become asexual in exchange for a boost of productivity (although I have wished for temporary asexuality during particularly frustrating times). I have my priorities and I chose to focus on them at the expense of other goals. I'm largely content with my life, but man am I envious of Scott's prolific output.