I Got Married

So this is a belated announcement post because I’ve been busy. I got married, then we moved into a house, then we’ve been in that perpetual unpacking state, and then we had an home invasion scare.¹

Exactly a year to the day after our first date, Elle & I were signing our names on a marriage certificate in the same courtroom I’ve had several jury trials in. The government, in all its magnanimous benefaction, gave us permission to lock that shit down. Our cat was the ring-bearer and earned no salary. Our prenup² was notarized at UPS. We invited nobody to our courthouse elopement, which turned out to be a problem when we legally needed an additional witness, so I briefly ran out and snagged one of the court marshals to play the role. How appropriate that one of the few people to be at my wedding ceremony was a cop.

Cross-examining our ring-bearer

Elle & I met off Hinge and glommed onto each other very quickly. I dropped a hint about her in my 2022 retrospective early on in our relationship. What I said then remains relevant today — I felt comfortable to act thoroughly and authentically weird around her and, seeing no pushback whatsoever, I just kept dialing it up and up and up. At a certain point, I realized “I’ve seen enough” and just waited for the right moment to propose. My question had no ornation, deployed haphazardly while sitting on our couch, and Elle first asked if I was serious before her emphatic yes.

Most important of all, she reads everything I write and listens to every podcast I’m on. That’s how you know it’s real.³

Mad props to Misha Gurevich for snapping this moment at a friend’s wedding I officiated just a couple of days before my own courthouse ceremony.

This doesn’t need to be overwritten, I’m just so so happy.

1. Oh don’t you guys worry, I will be writing about this.

2. Lol what else did you expect?

3. hint-hint all you single ladies out there.